Do you ever just work yourself up into a really bad place? Like you talk yourself into the darkness and just can't find the light? And nothing anyone says or does is right or makes it better? And everything seems so awful and unbearable? No? Well, screw you. It happens to me all the time. Or I suppose I should say I do it to myself all the time. I just pick something to fixate on, and let it bring everything else in the world down with it. I'm not really sure I pick the one thing - I think it's usually just something that happens in life that turns into my personal proverbial straw that breaks my camel back. Perhaps I've got a weak back.
Why is it so hard to ignore what other people think of you? I can't tell you how many times I've been told to not let other people's opinions of me affect me.
Don't worry about what other people think.
Why do you care so much about what other people think?
Etc, etc, etc.
Well the fuck if I know. Do you really think I enjoy having my own emotions and concept of self-worth being so ruled over by the thoughts and actions and ill-considered offhand remarks of others? No. I really don't. It's just... a compulsion? I can't really control it. I had a therapist once who I think would identify this behavior as terribly introverted - when you make everything that happens in the world about yourself. I know, logically, that it's not, but it's hard sometimes to ignore the emotional side of myself which interprets every sideways glance and forgotten phone call as the fall of the guillotine.
But it only takes a few well placed phone calls and well timed insights from your true friends to get you set straight again.
Don't be crazy.
Cheerio, sunshines.
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