I feel as though I've screwed up my life so much that I'll never get what I want.
And by that, I mean - I'm so set along my path that I am unable to change my direction.
And by THAT, I mean - I've made so many decisions already that I've set myself along a course that I couldn't possibly change. I can't go back and remake my decisions, so here I am, stuck with what I've set myself up for, longing for something ....different? More? I'm not sure. But I am sure that it is irreversible.
It is what it is. Not nearly so nice a sentiment as que sera sera, but true nonetheless. And maybe a better way of putting it would be to say that it is what I have made it.
But that doesn't mean it's what I want.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
UGH.
You wanna know something really depressing?
Are you sure?
It's pretty fuckin' lame.
Alright....
But don't say I didn't warn you!
And remember - I already called it out as being lame and depressing, so you can't say it again.
Here goes....
If I ever get engaged, I won't post it on facebook. Not because I like my privacy, or don't want the attention, but because I'll be so goddamn fucking embarrassed that it didn't happen earlier.
Go to bed, bitches.
.
Are you sure?
It's pretty fuckin' lame.
Alright....
But don't say I didn't warn you!
And remember - I already called it out as being lame and depressing, so you can't say it again.
Here goes....
If I ever get engaged, I won't post it on facebook. Not because I like my privacy, or don't want the attention, but because I'll be so goddamn fucking embarrassed that it didn't happen earlier.
Go to bed, bitches.
.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Wishing and Hoping and Thinking and Praying
Today, as I was waiting for someone to text me back (well actually, I was waiting for him to HeyTell me back, but whatever, you know what I'm saying), I realized that I spend a lot of my life in a state of waiting. Waiting for you to text me, waiting for it to be time to go out, waiting for the weekend, waiting for finals to be over, waiting to be Colorado (shootout to my homegirl!). This makes me feel two things:
One. I need to stop waiting and start living. I should fill my "wait-full" moments with interesting, productive, thoughtful activities. Or, to steal a line from my ASA sisters - I should strive "to fill my days with satisfying activities." Life is short and there is so much we have that we take for granted. I am so blessed and thankful to be living the life I live, in the place I am, with all the amazing people and opportunities in my life. I just need to take better advantage of all of that sometimes.
For those of you who don't know, I'm sort of obsessed with this rapper, Machine Gun Kelly (lace up!). He posted this amazing video today of one of his friends who is in a wheel chair and has been inspired by MGK's story and perseverance to fight his own fight, and he actually walked again, on stage, at an MGK concert. Watch it. It's incredibly touching and just reminds me how we so often take the little things for granted, while still managing to get hung up on the small stuff (don't sweat it, who cares if he doesn't HeyTell you back, bitch? Your life still goes on!).
Okay, back to this waiting game I was talking about…
Two. Is waiting for something awesome really such a bad thing? I mean, it will be GREAT when finals are over, and it will be freaking AMAZING to get back out to CO and see Whitney and Zia and Joey, and so what if I like going out on the weekends better than I like sitting in the library and studying?! I mean, look, I plan things that I am excited for and I want to be excited about those things. And if you have a problem with that, then - come at me, bro.
Super contradictory and random update. After finals, I will try to update more frequently. Not that there's anything exciting going on in my life. You know, I'm just out here in the middle of Nebraska, kickin' it in L-town, doin' my thang. S'alright to be jelly.
Oh, and P.S., since the last time we talked, I got a NEPHEW!!!!
Lace up, biotch.
Love you sunshines,
Sammy Shark
One. I need to stop waiting and start living. I should fill my "wait-full" moments with interesting, productive, thoughtful activities. Or, to steal a line from my ASA sisters - I should strive "to fill my days with satisfying activities." Life is short and there is so much we have that we take for granted. I am so blessed and thankful to be living the life I live, in the place I am, with all the amazing people and opportunities in my life. I just need to take better advantage of all of that sometimes.
For those of you who don't know, I'm sort of obsessed with this rapper, Machine Gun Kelly (lace up!). He posted this amazing video today of one of his friends who is in a wheel chair and has been inspired by MGK's story and perseverance to fight his own fight, and he actually walked again, on stage, at an MGK concert. Watch it. It's incredibly touching and just reminds me how we so often take the little things for granted, while still managing to get hung up on the small stuff (don't sweat it, who cares if he doesn't HeyTell you back, bitch? Your life still goes on!).
Okay, back to this waiting game I was talking about…
Two. Is waiting for something awesome really such a bad thing? I mean, it will be GREAT when finals are over, and it will be freaking AMAZING to get back out to CO and see Whitney and Zia and Joey, and so what if I like going out on the weekends better than I like sitting in the library and studying?! I mean, look, I plan things that I am excited for and I want to be excited about those things. And if you have a problem with that, then - come at me, bro.
Super contradictory and random update. After finals, I will try to update more frequently. Not that there's anything exciting going on in my life. You know, I'm just out here in the middle of Nebraska, kickin' it in L-town, doin' my thang. S'alright to be jelly.
Oh, and P.S., since the last time we talked, I got a NEPHEW!!!!
Lace up, biotch.
Love you sunshines,
Sammy Shark
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