I feel as though I've screwed up my life so much that I'll never get what I want.
And by that, I mean - I'm so set along my path that I am unable to change my direction.
And by THAT, I mean - I've made so many decisions already that I've set myself along a course that I couldn't possibly change. I can't go back and remake my decisions, so here I am, stuck with what I've set myself up for, longing for something ....different? More? I'm not sure. But I am sure that it is irreversible.
It is what it is. Not nearly so nice a sentiment as que sera sera, but true nonetheless. And maybe a better way of putting it would be to say that it is what I have made it.
But that doesn't mean it's what I want.
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