Gravity

It's been a while since I've written. Sorry about that. I wish I could tell you everything that's going on, and that's happened over the past month, but this isn't really that kind of blog, is it? No.

Tonight, I find myself sitting on the floor of my bedroom, watching the rain pour down outside my window, and wanting desperately to talk to a select few people whom I can't seem to muster up the energy to actually call. I feel as if we are on the edge of a great divide and many of my dear friends are standing at the edge of the opposite precipice. Their backs aren't turned, but perhaps their heads are. They are busy and distracted and have other, much more important things going on at the moment.

I'm not being melodramatic here. Legit - they've got more important shit going on these days. But I find it so hard to connect or relate meaningfully anymore. We are worlds apart, living in the same city. They hear the thunder and see the rain the same as I do, but my instinct is that to them, the rain is something of nuisance, not unlike myself, whereas, to me, the rain is quite welcome.

.... Perhaps I am just being melodramatic. But I daresay that's my fucking prerogative so, there you have it.

John Mayer asks, "Who says I can't be free from all of the things that I used to be? Rewrite my history?"

If we rewrite our history, then we lose all the lessons we've learned and the experiences we've had, don't we? And as much as that may be tempting, or desirable, I can't help but wonder - who would we become without our histories? If you rewrote yours, how would it sound? Is that really where you'd want to be?

It's kinda like Alanis Morissette said: "Life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face."